Skinny Dipping

Top Ten Excuses When Caught Skinnydipping

10). THIS (pointing to ample waistline) ain't SKINNYdipping! —

9). I thought I was in Santa Cruz. —

8). When I asked the ranger at the ranger station what to take on my backpacking trip, she said, "Nothing but the bare necessities." —

7). I'm doing an interpretive art piece on the life of the salmon. —

6). I think the acid levels are a little high in this lake, officer. It ate the shorts right off me. —

5). I was attacked by aliens, and they took all my clothes for analysis.

4). It was spontaneous combustion. The only thing that saved me from a horrible death was this creek. —

3).We thought we struck a berg. —

2). If you kiss me, I'll turn back into a frog. —

1). Borrnnn to be... wiiiillld! —

Skinny Dippin'

If you are like most of the folks around here, you love to take off your clothing and jump in the warm water. The freedom you experience is exhilarating. There are only a few minor problems with this type attitude, one, it's against the law, and two, where do you go so that you will not bring the wrath of Ranger Bob or the Island policia into your life. Rangers surely frown, at least that's what they are supposed to do, when they encounter a skinny hiney protruding from a sand dune or wave. You will be cited and have to appear in court, and that particularly defeats the whole idea of skinny dippin'.

Skinny dippin' is great fun, and it can be accomplished with little hassle if you care to take precautions. There are two extremely important things to remember. First, you want to emerge from your swim with the same amount of body parts that you went in with. It is very dangerous to swim during feeding times. Early morning and early evening. Second, you want to watch out for jelly fish. The sting can be very painful on your leg or arm, and triple the intensity on those newly exposed parts.

With thousands of miles of sandy shorelines and warm sunshine year-round, you might think that finding a nude beach on the Gulf Coast of Florida would be a cinch. However, if you want to go nude on Florida's Gulf Coast, you have to be choosy...and careful!

Locating a nude beach in this area basically means finding a stretch of sand that's off the beaten path where you can discreetly bare it all. Though a few of the area's beaches have earned a reputation as "clothing optional" or "nude beaches," remember! local law doesn't view them as such. While there are plenty of remote stretches of beach along the Florida Gulf Coast where nude sunbathing and skinny-dipping go largely ignored (when done with discretion), the fact remains: If you get caught, you could be cited for nudity at any of the Florida Panhandle beaches.

We would like to hear your skinny dipping stories. With your persmission we will post any "g" rated stories to share with our visitors. -click here to share your stories -

06/2003

Here is my skinny dipping story. It's worth you posting it, believe me:

Our family began traveling to Maine when I was around 15. It's a gorgeous place but the water is frigid, and it took a couple of trips before I was willing to go in the water. I was finally inspired to do this because of a beach I found. It was so serene, so natural. People were there, but not the kind that cared if I skinny-dipped, and not enough to bother me. So I stripped, put my clothes on the rocks, and slipped into the water. It was freezing. I was only able to stand it for about 10 minutes of it, and then I stretched out on some rocks on an island about 50 yards from the shore. I needed the sun to warm me up. Well, as this was only my third trip to New England, I was not quite accustomed to the massive tides there. After warming to a degree that allowed me to brave the temperature of the water between my island and the beach, I began to swim back. When I arrived on the shore I realized that it was high tide, and I must have laid my clothes on the rocks during low tide. My clothes were gone! My sandles were bobbing in the surf, but that's all I could find. I was stranded on the beach with only my sandles! What made this whole situation a bit tricky was that I had walked to this beach from the house in which we were staying. I had no car to go to and get some more clothes, or even a towel. My parents had gone sightseeing for the day, and I knew when they would be back. If I waited for night before I began my trek back not many people would see me as I walked down the road naked, but then again, arriving at the door nude with my parents there didn't look all that promising. If I wanted to arrive at the house before my parents did I would have to leave right away. And it was 4 o'clock, and it was June. It was perfectly light! So I began my daring journey. This was no serene country road. There were many a row of houses, many a person who peered out their window, and so many cars drove by and beeped that I lost count. It was exhilarating, but deeply embarrassing. All in all I walked just about two miles. I met a man walking his dog. We waved at each other. I made it home before my parents, and they were blissfully unaware of my two mile streak in broad day-light. But the next day when we went down to the store in the little town, I got about three humorous looks. My parents saw about two of those looks, and I was in a tight place explaining them. I never did really, but then again my parents never found out that probably upwards of 50 people saw me naked that day. I kept that story to my self for several years, but then I saw the great amount of comic relief in it, and when I look back on it I see my youth, and I see an innocence. I was beautiful, so why should I have worried?

--- Penelope W.

--- xwk425@earthlink.net

My wife and I were vacationing at her sister's cottage at a lake in Southern Michigan. It was Sunday morning and my wife's sister took everyone but my wife and me in to town to go to church. I decided to go in swimming and subsequently took off my trunks to "skinny dip". Somehow I lost track of where the trunks were. This particular lake is very shallow, so I was about a quarter of a mile out in the water. I couldn't stand up and wade to shore because it would have been like walking naked about a quarter of a mile in view of people in the adjoining cottages. I called to my wife, who was sunbathing in the front of the cottage, and tried to coax her into the water. I couldn't shout my predicament because of the adjoining cottages. I had to get her to come in. After much coaxing she came in the water and I explained to her what had happened. She waded in to the cottage and brought me a pair of trunks, but she never let me forget the embarrassing position I had put myself in.

---Dale
---ttmann@triton.net